fear...

Suddenly i feel like shit...Ns is approaching in 18 days time. I kept thinking its 3 weeks, but then i just realized, 3 weeks is 21 days, not 18, 18 days is 2 and a half weeks...

I suddenly feel like shit...i was having a happy day reading book and listening to music and browsing the net for interesting recipe. Nothing special but i like this peacefulness. Now my mood has gone down, im an emotional being and i hate this feeling...seriously...ok maybe staying home makes me think alot.

Now if you ask me, am i scared, honestly I am very very scared.

I fear a new different environment, i afraid i cant cope with the people and environment.

I fear swimming, i cant swim, i use to be scared of water, phobia, although as i grow up im okay with it now, i didnt bother to learn swimming.

I fear the physical test(ippt), since i came to poly, i have not exercise much. Remember the days in wushu when i can stretch and hug my feet and legs, took months to get that flexibility. Now i cant even touch the floor when i do stretching.

I fear leaving home, i will miss my families. I have grown up in a protected family, my parents love me and i have not experience much hardship. Im afraid that i cant cope.

I fear time, this timing is bad, there are many things i wanna do before going in ns, i fear that i wont be able to do them by the time i come out, or when im free. Like maintaining this blog...no one will read it if i update it once a week or once in 2 weeks...

But then again, there are things i look forward to

I look forward to meeting new friends, im sure there are nice people out there :D

I look forward to trainning my body and becoming fit, for the sake of health and girls :D hahaha

I look forward to changing myself into a better person and becoming a MAN!!!!

I look forward to learning leadership related stuff in NS, so that is good for my future.

I actually look forward to chionging ns and not chao geng.

But i really hope my body can make it, and also mentally too, i need a motivation, i need something to push me...